I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
