so that wasnt chicken after all
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
