i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
My dick has a subreddit
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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