I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
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