I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
