She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
