I hate your face
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
