He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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