im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
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