Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
