hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
