There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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