omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize