I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
