Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
