You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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