oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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