I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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