Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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