woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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