What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
