Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Shame - the story of my life.
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