you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
