like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
