If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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