I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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