its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
