Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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