So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
