Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
