Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
