they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
