You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
