hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
