i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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