Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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