I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
