Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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