Non-Jews are for practice
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Is Oprah even human
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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