i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
