We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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