I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
