so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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