I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
nutella sex= disaster
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize