this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
