she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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