did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
