Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
