Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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