Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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