Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
