arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
