Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
