Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Drunk is a universal language darling
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
