Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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