it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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