Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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