I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
