The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
