You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
