Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
