I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
